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"It's an unforgettable memoir" Award-winning journalist Trace A. DeMeyer's second edition has even more of her remarkable story and the disturbing history of closed adoption used to break up tribal families. ...What is known about the Indian Adoption Projects and the aftermath has been pretty much secret . . . Until now. A reader praised her book: The journey, the courage and openness of your work. It's very inspiring. The way 'Small Sacrifice' shares itself . . . it's as if the book were speaking . . . holding a talking stick with us all gathered in a circle . . . we come together through your sacrifice. Trace blogs at: www.splitfeathers.blogspot.com.
- Sales Rank: #1521821 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Blue Hand Books
- Published on: 2012-04-26
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .64" w x 6.00" l, .85 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 284 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Review
I couldn't put this book down ... Trace captured the heart and soul of life as an adoptee brought into a culture not originally her own. The importance of adoptees knowing where they come from is paramount ...she takes the readers along to understanding who she is and where it all began for her. - Paula Benoit, former State Senator in Maine
Her 'tell all' memoir carries the reader forward through a dark and dismal journey of one small spirit, caught up under ills of political whims. It was decided that the Indian Adoption Act would become the method of saving the child, while being directly aimed at assimilation... ONE SMALL SACRIFICE is a must read memoir. Stephan Deimel, Austria
From the Author
Q & A with journalist-adoptee Trace A. DeMeyer, author of ONE SMALL SACRIFICE: Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects [ISBN: 978-0-557-25599-3.]
Why did you write the book?
Trace A. DeMeyer: I'd never told my story of opening my adoption. A few friends knew details but not all of it. I got the idea for a book when I wrote an article in 2005 about Stolen Generations of North American Indian children placed for adoption with non-Indian parents. That article "Generation after Generation, We are Coming Home" was published in Talking Stick magazine in New York City and then in News from Indian Country in Wisconsin. It took me down a path I never expected.
What do you mean?
TAD: I was not aware of the various medical terms for adoptee issues such as severe narcissist injury or post-traumatic stress disorder. There is new science called birth psychology so I read studies about adoptees in treatment for identity issues, reactive attachment disorder (RAD), depression and suicidal thoughts. Then I found statistics. An adoptee friend in Toronto told me to read Adoption: Unchartered Waters by Dr. David Kirschner, a book about adoptees who are notorious serial killers. Another chilling book I found was "The Baby Thief: The Untold Story of Georgia Tann, the Baby Seller who Corrupted Adoption." I soon realized the adoption industry doesn't disclose any of this to the media or to adoptive parents or to adoptees like me. So I wrote my memoir as an adoptee and wrote about the history and business of adoption as a journalist. I found more adoptees after my article was published, which really added to my understanding of the devastating impact of the Indian Adoption Projects.
How did you handle being an adoptee in a closed adoption?
TAD: I grieved my birthmother but didn't know I was grieving until much later. Being adopted affected my self-esteem but no one had told me. Trauma and grief issues were like tentacles, affecting me even as an adult. I had difficulty feeling good or bad. I was hurt my birthmother abandoned me as a baby, so I didn't bounce back emotionally until I had counseling and after I found my birthfather. My emotional state recovered but it took many years.
How did you recover?
TAD: First, I opened by sealed adoption file at age 22. That healed me more anything, to know my name. Even though I never met my birthmother, I did meet my birthfather when I was 40. Our reunion is in the book. Finding out why you are abandoned and put up for adoption, once you know the truth, it works like a miracle. I call it my cure. It felt like a dark cloud lifted and I could feel again. Before I met Earl, my b-dad, I did co-counseling in Seattle where you tell your whole life story - all of it - with complete honesty, no holding back. Then it was like a powder keg exploded. I started to see how being adopted had locked me up in illusions about who my birthparents were, so when I learned the truth about them, my heart did begin to heal. I was no longer a mystery. Even my health improved.
What about the Indian Adoption Projects?
TAD: There is congressional testimony and documented proof of various adoption programs in different states which lead to the passage of the Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978. The idea in America and Canada was to assimilate Indians. If they took us and placed us with non-Indian parents, they assumed we'd forget we're Indians. But we don't forget. I know my ancestors were in my head, talking to me when I was young. Adoptees who are American Indian are called Lost Birds, Split Feathers, Lost Children, and Lost Ones. Of course most of us adapt and bond with our birthparents but as we grow up, our identity and name might still be locked up in a sealed file. Adoptees told me we won't heal until we open our adoption and go full circle, which means we meet our tribal relatives. The adoption projects are acknowledged by the Bureau of Indian Affairs and the Child Welfare League of America, and I include one apology in the book. My book is basically a memoir but it does include lots of history.
How long did it take to write?
TAD: About 5 years. I chose the title "ONE SMALL SACRIFICE: Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects." I self-published with Lulu.com in January. Now Amazon is selling it and bookstores and libraries will be able to order copies.
Who should read it?
TAD: Adoptees, definitely, and the families who adopted us. One birthmom is California told me she plans to read it with her son she placed in an open adoption. Those who have read my book do react strongly to the idea the American government condoned and conducted closed adoptions to erase our identity as Indian people. My hope is tribal leaders will read it so they understand Lost Birds are anxious to return to the circle, meet relatives, relearn language and attend ceremonies. In Canada they call their adoptee population "The Baby Scoop Generation" and their reunions are called "repatriation to First Nations." There are no programs in America for adoptees to be repatriated or returned to their tribal nations as adults. With sealed adoption records in the majority of states, adoptees struggle to get answers. My book offers suggestions and places to write for help. I offer my help, too.
What's next?
TAD: Some adoptees are in reunion, some are not. Their stories need to be told.
I've finished a second book: Split Feathers: Two Worlds and my co-author Patricia Busbee and I are contacting university presses. One Small Sacrifice has its own page on Facebook and adoptees can get in touch with me on Facebook or read my blog: splitfeathers.blogspot.com. My email is tracedemeyer@gmail.com. It's my goal to shine a light on adoption secrecy and end the atrocity of closed adoptions affecting so many American Indians who are now adults. We do need to heal this and go full circle.
From the Back Cover
ONE SMALL SACRIFICE: Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects, a stunning memoir by Shawnee-Cherokee journalist Trace A. DeMeyer, explores the practice of closed adoption as a form of ethnic cleansing of North American Indians. The author opened her sealed adoption file at age 22, hoping to find birthfamily and her tribal ancestry and meet other adoptees called Split Feathers and Lost Birds.
One adoptee wrote her, "I couldn't put your book down, even though it felt like I'd been punched in my gut..."
About the cover photo, DeMeyer said, "That's me standing in front of an Ojibwe wigwam with my adoptive mother Edie and my adopted brother Joey. I'm the only Indian in this family. It was 1969. I'm 12 and attending the famous Lumberjack Festival in Wisconsin. The Lac Courte Oreilles Ojibwe powwow was held on the same grounds. The sound of the drum, the men singing filled me, like my heart opened up and the sky fell in... I knew I was an Indian girl just like the other girls I saw but no one could tell me anything since I was adopted... I knew little to nothing about being adopted or Indian, just that I was...
"...Our secret adoptions had a purpose - the break-up of Indian families..." DeMeyer writes. "I guess the idea was to assimilate us, tame dirty savages. So what is known about the Indian Adoption Projects and the aftermath, it's pretty much been secret...."
Until now...
...her ground-breaking memoir includes tribal representatives testifying to the US Senate in 1976 concerning the Indian Adoption Projects, operated by the Bureau of Indian Affairs and the Child Welfare League of America (CWLA), when one quarter of all Indian children were removed from their families and placed into non-Indian adoptive and foster homes or orphanages... Where are these children now?
Award winning journalist Trace A. DeMeyer writes for News from Indian Country on the Lac Courte Oreilles Ojibwe Reservation. She's co-founder of Ojibwe Akiing in Wisconsin and the former editor of the Pequot Times in Connecticut. She lives in Massachusetts.
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
ONE SMALL SACRIFICE LOST CHILDREN OF THE INDIAN ADOPTION PROJECTS
By Dr. Stephan Deimel
ONE SMALL SACRIFICE LOST CHILDREN OF THE INDIAN ADOPTION PROJECTS, by the Native American Journalist Trace A. DeMeyer, is a cutting example of the many trials historically suffered by North America's Native People. The `tell all' memoir carries the reader forward through a dark and dismal journey of one small spirit, caught up under ills of political whims. It was decided that the `Indian Adoption Act' would become the method of saving the child, while being directly aimed at `assimilation' and killing the spirit and ethnicity. Trace DeMeyer is to be highly respected for pursuing a life threatening path in search of truths. With a crushed spirit her efforts to live in a life of inner peace continued to falter, but her small steps slowly became stronger with each harsh lesson. For Trace, quoting her friend Anecia, "the power of identity was stronger than fear."(p3) The reader is compelled to forge on through the author's words and a spellbinding journey, on a healing path to identity.
Native Americans, before all other Peoples of America, are constantly pressed to prove identity and bloodlines. Smaller numbers render political freedom from admonishing greater numbers for lands grants, treaties, funding for health care and tribal self-help projects. The book documents many political legalities and the harsh realities resulting from them. `Split Feathers,' Indian adoptees who were stolen from their families or given up for adoption, were erased from tribal roles! Ironically, Split Feathers carry an added fear of finding their tribes only to be disowned by them or loud voices who delegate themselves to even openly label them as imposters. We share in the tears shed by Trace and other split feathers who cried through their childhood for being different , being lonely, and in despair of inaccessible, but vital, hidden or closed documents. We weep realizing now the possibility of these fragile spirits being denied by their birth mothers. Our tears carry hope for the many Split Feathers that they, like Trace DeMeyer, hold fast to their spirit. "ONE SMALL SACRIFICE LOST CHILDREN OF THE INDIAN ADOPTION PROJECTS," is a `must read' memoir.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Soaring above Loss
By commonreader
One Small Sacrifice is one important read.
Award-winning Shawnee-Cherokee journalist Trace DeMeyer opened her sealed adoption file at age 22. This book chronicles her return to her ancestry, to her birthright.
More than personal history, the book examines the collective history of the Indian Adoption Projects. With her journalist's expertise, DeMeyer traces the trajectory from government boarding schools to these secret adoptions, both aimed at forced assimilation of Indian children into white culture, both policies of cultural genocide.
For many "Split Feathers," adoption causes years of heartache as they mourn both the loss of biological parents and tribal ties. They are split not only emotionally, but culturally, between two worlds--Indian and white. This fact is represented visually by the cover photo, depicting a young DeMeyer with her adoptive mother and adopted brother in front of a wigwam within earshot of a powwow:
The sound of the drum, the men singing filled me, like my heart opened up and the sky fell in. I knew I was an Indian girl just like the other girls I saw, but no one could tell me anything since I was adopted...
This psychic dissonance causes profound distress, calling on survival skills that should not be forced upon any child.
Fascinating, painful, hopeful, this book is also a spiritual signpost for other "Lost Birds" seeking to find their way back home to cultures that, in some cases, have no formal way to welcome them. Although sobering in its expose of these adoptions, the book is a testament to one woman's persistence and resilience in the face of early and traumatic loss. DeMeyer's memoir is a reminder that even with split feathers, one can still take wing.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Incredibly touching and informative
By Janice L. Loper
The way Trace shared such painful and embarassing things from her past made this book very personal. She was honest in her fears, hopes, road blocks, and success'. It really opens up a whole new "hidden" American history that I had only heard a little about at my community college in 1999. It is truly one of the greatest shames our history has ever covered up.
I grew up in CA with Native American classmates who were forced to leave their families behind so they could "attend civilized schools". I remember the pain it caused my friend and the incredible loss I felt when she never came back for the 1978/79 school year. Now I know why, and am filled with a hopeful joy that she was more than likely reunited with her family.
This book is a wonderful resource for Indian and non-Indian adoptees. She doesn't just tell her story, she gives you resources to be able to find a connection. It is also perfect for history re-education. It is time to talk and time to stop the silence. This book will pull at your emotions yet is an inspiration that gives hope for the thousands of lost birds who're dealing with the pain. I plan on sharing my copy with as many people as possible! I'm looking forward to the next book.
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